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Monday, May 1st, 2006
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1:04 am
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I can't belive it's over. My whole MTA existance is over... it's so fucked up to just even comprehend it. And then she just walkes out of my life. Quite literally, and I can admit it, my soul broke into infinity, im not sure I can even write this without falling apart again, but i'll try. I listened to this girl, I loved this girl, and she just walked out. It's too late, im already in pieces. I can barely breath, let along live.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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4:15 pm
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wow, it's funny how things can change so fast. I broke up with sam a couple days ago. Im not sure how to feel. I drink too much, I smoke too much and I don't care enough. but hey, i knew i was gonna fuck it up,just a matter of time. very very... whatever, fuck it, yea for real, guess who got no feelin's.
current mood:  apathetic
current music: Mobb Deep - Shook Ones
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, August 30th, 2004
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2:20 am
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Late have I loved you, O Beauty, so ancient and so new, late have I loved you!
And behold, you were within me and I was outside, and there I sought for you, and in my deformity I rushed headlong into the well-formed things that you have made.
You were with me, and I was not with you. Those outer beauties held me far from you, yet if they had not been in you, they would not have existed at all.
You called, and cried out to me and broke open my deafness; you shone forth upon me and you scattered my blindness.
You breathed fragrance, and I drew in my breath and I now pant for you.
I tasted, and I hunger and thirst; you touched me, and I burned for your peace.
-Saint Augustine
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 26th, 2004
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7:02 am
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Wow, energy level just went through the roof, I just worked a 10 hour back shift and stoned as shit so just incase I havn't made it perfectly obvious lately, fuck you!
current mood: Level 9
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, August 21st, 2004
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3:38 am
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| Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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1:24 pm
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| Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
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9:10 pm - haha yea
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| Saturday, August 14th, 2004
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7:50 am - this should do the trick
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Meaning of PHAGOCYTOSIS
Pronunciation: `fagusI'towsis
WordNet Dictionary
Definition: [n] process in which phagocytes engulf and digest microorganisms and cellular debris; an important defense against infection
phagocytes
Definition:
Large white blood cells that contribute to the immune defenses by ingesting microbes, other cells, and foreign particles. The two principal phagocytes are neutrophils and monocytes. They emigrate out of the blood and into tissues in which an infection has developed.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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4:15 pm
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I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
fuck fuck fuckity fuck
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 1st, 2004
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2:06 am
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ohh wow, brad is the shit, hit the bar scene up with 'em and bethany, haha it was funny an ol' man decided to be friends with me, give me a smoke and shit, then I sent him out hittin on girls, young one's too it was funny to watch them squirm, but don't get it twisted, i havn't been stickin' my dick in shit so fuck you! please believe. anyway im out, peace
current mood:  high
current music: Fabolous ft Timbaland - Right Now (Later On)
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 26th, 2004
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5:01 am - interesting very interesting
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4:59 am
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| Friday, June 18th, 2004
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5:05 am - GET OUT!
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--Beyond Good And Evil - The Place Of Perfect Peace--
by Asoka Selvarajah, Ph.D
Why do we consistently fail to do the good we know we should? All too often, why do we do the evil we hate instead? Is there really an external force that acts upon us and tempts us into evil as many religions seem to believe? Or does our own inner fragmentation lead us ever into frustration; willing one thing but doing another?
It is simply not enough to say that we are the product of our environment, or of negative conditioning by our parents. Sometimes, it seems almost like there is another person within us, willing us to do what we would rather not.
tweak
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 12th, 2004
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2:46 am - take that
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Sixty Things That Are Happening Right Now While You Are Reading This Page. Enjoy and Smile :)
1. Somebody is very proud of you.
2. Somebody is thinking of you.
3. Somebody is caring about you.
4. Somebody misses you.
5. Somebody wants to talk to you.
6. Somebody wants to be with you.
7. Somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
8. Somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
9. Somebody wants to hold your hand.
10. Somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
11. Somebody wants you to be happy.
12. Somebody wants you to find him/her.
13. Somebody is celebrating your successes.
14. Somebody wants to give you a gift.
15. Somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
16. Somebody hopes you're not too cold, or too hot.
17. Somebody wants to hug you.
18. Somebody loves you.
19. Somebody admires your strength.
20. Somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
21. Somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
22. Somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
23. Somebody thinks the world of you.
24. Somebody wants to protect you.
25. Somebody would do anything for you.
26. Somebody wants to be forgiven.
27. Somebody is grateful for your forgiveness.
28. Somebody wants to laugh with you.
29. Somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.
30. Somebody is praising God for you.
31. Somebody needs to know that your love is unconditional.
32. Somebody values your advice.
33. Somebody wants to tell you how much they care.
34. Somebody wants to share their dreams with you.
35. Somebody wants to hold you in their arms.
36. Somebody wants YOU to hold them in your arms.
37. Somebody treasures your spirit.
38. Somebody wishes they could STOP time because of you.
39. Somebody praises God for your friendship and love.
40. Somebody can't wait to see you.
41. Somebody loves you for who you are.
42. Somebody loves the way you make them feel.
43. Somebody wants to be with you.
44. Somebody wants you to know they are there for you.
45. Somebody is glad that you're his/her friend.
46. Somebody wants to be your friend.
47. Somebody stayed up all night thinking about you.
48. Somebody is alive because of you.
49. Somebody is wishing that you noticed him/her.
50. Somebody wants to get to know you better.
51. Somebody wants to be near you.
52. Somebody misses your advice/guidance.
53. Somebody has faith in you.
54. Somebody trusts you.
55. Somebody needs your support.
56. Somebody needs you to have faith in them.
57. Somebody will cry when they read this.
58. Somebody needs you to let them be your friend.
59. Somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.
60. Somebody needs you to send them this to them.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
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1:55 am - haha i like it
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| Saturday, May 22nd, 2004
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2:40 am
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everything you've felt everything you know that is real, it's wrong, every feeling you've felt, every face you've seen, it is wrong... pj... even if i am a tool i will distroy you... biotch, what did yo think this is, like i would let you touch anything close to me, without distroying me first, i think not, if you threaten me you threaten everything i know, just not one thing, no threats just fuck off and die. i don't need this shit. ewwwwww w wa wa wa wa wa wa wa
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
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11:14 pm
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alot of shit has changed with me, as most of you have noticed. i've lost some friends due to some dumb shit, but that's the way life goes and im a take it like that. I feel bad for this, but really what am i subpost to do? somebody for the love of god tell me cause apparently i don't know. I did what i thought was right, i didn't want to, but you can only push me so far. And i know that i've been fucked in the head lately, and unresponsive, but i got alot of shit on my mind so deal, i hve to, every day with every minute. You think i don't think, that's all I do, I dwell on everything, i hear everything, even when you don't think i do, i just act dumb don't mean i am, so if im acting around you, you need to ask why??? but other than that, i forgive but i don't forget, so if you want this shit resolved you know where to find me, right in the middle of my mother fuckin' trailer park, where you at B? Where you at?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
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10:54 pm
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"Here We Go Again"
[DMX]
Same old shit dog, just a different day
You know how niggaz do, when we play, how we play
IT IS NOT, A FUCKING GAME!
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
If it's fuck me nigga, you know it's fuck you
I kick it to shorty to try to help him understand (uhh)
Hit him with work, cause yo, that's my little man (uh-huh)
He asked a few questions bout the game and I told him (yeh)
So when he made a bad move it was my place to scold him (aight)
Never told him nuttin wrong, kept it fair
Didn't listen, so I might as well have been talkin to the air (damn)
Everybody makes mistakes, a mistake is aight
But if it ain't, I'ma tell you straight, time to say goodnight
Nobody likes to be played, regardless of the relationship
but shorty's fuckin up big time, I HATE THIS SHIT
I'm caught in the middle of, havin love for a lil nigga
knowin what's expected of me as a, real nigga (damn)
My next move is crucial, what do I do?
How do I keep it real with shorty in my crew?
Didn't want to kill him, so instead of puttin the Mac on him
I did the only thing I could do, turn my back on him (aight?)
[Chorus: DMX]
Here we go again..
Same old shit dog, just a different day
Here we go again..
You know how niggaz do, when we play, how we play
Here we go again..
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
Here we go again..
So if it's fuck me nigga, then you know it's fuck you
[DMX]
Niggaz that I fuck wit, wanna get him dead
But I'm cool with shorty's peoples, so I let him live
Under normal circumstances, he would be a marked man
but I hit him with a grand, just didn't shake his hand (ooh)
Go about your business (uh-huh) do what you gonna do (uh)
Be what you gon' be, I wash my hands, I'm through (aight?)
I can forgive I just can't forget
You're on your own lil' man don't ask me for shit (no)
If you paid attention to what I taught you then you good (uhh)
If I see you again, GET IT, understood?
Go 'head before I change my mind cause you know you should be dead
"I just wanted to say --" AIGHT?!!!! GO 'HEAD!
Instinct told me to kill him but the saviour is
I'm a good nigga, plus I owed his peeps a favor (hmm)
But I also knew, the decision I just made (yeah)
went against the rules of the game that we played (damn)
[Chorus]
[DMX]
I should have, followed my first instinct, cause I knew
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
Now this nigga's fuckin with the competition (WHAT?)
Ungrateful motherfucker, shoulda got him missin (WHAT?)
This nigga got the nerve, to take my kindness, for a weakness
Gotsta get back on some street shit so I can creep this
rat, when I act, take one, set him up, to take two
get him there, take three, get him done
Wasn't hard for me to get him where I wanted him, confronted him
{*barrel spins*} BZZZZZZZT, CLICK! There was a bullet in one of them
Feelin lucky? CLICK, looks like you are
CLICK CLICK CLICK, luck ain't goin too far
What you did was put on another pair of shoes
and they just happened to be too big
What you did was stupid (damn) real fuckin stupid (aight?)
Well shorty I gave you a chance and what did you do?
Threw it back in my fuckin face so FUCK YOU TOO (BLAM) aight?
[Chorus 2X]
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, May 7th, 2004
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10:27 pm
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aite im tired of this beef, but that don't mean that im not still pissed about all this shit, but if you want this to go away, you gotta come face to face with me like a man mother fucker how do you think things go around here? i mean really, and if not, then you are a busta and don't be comin around my shit no more. ohh but before you decide to get heart there's some things you need to know. let's see, well you know when sam broke up with you, well she got drunk and went to the bar lookin and findin me. see i didn't wanna hurt you but you shouldn't have flexed on what was mine, and if you even think about comin between us again you better holla at me, so i can put you in your place before you make an ass outta yourself ya heard? you know where to find me tonight.
current mood:  predatory
current music: Ice Cube - Friday
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 6th, 2004
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7:33 pm - squash that, mind your own beats, it's a new chief in the streets
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i work in half an hour, night shift is intense but I like it. been gettin my shit together lately, cuttin loose ends and such, but that's just the way we play now. anyway just lettin people know im still alive and kickin', latta' dayz
current mood: indifferent
current music: Chingy - Chingy Jackpot
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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dawg's journal